I usually whisper, “I’ll flip every table in this joint if you don’t take my card, including the one with that child at it”, and while it has a 100% success rate, I can’t help but feel terrible about it, later. What are some alternatives?
Get up and go to the bathroom before the bill comes, but after everything has been ordered. On the way, away from the table and your friend, give the waiter your card and ask them to run the bill.
This is what I do when I know the other person will insist on buying (like they always do). Had a friend who always bought lunch for years before I finally got there first.
In other situations, the classy thing is to say “please allow me to get this; I insist. You can get the next one.”
Years ago i was arguing with a friend’s boyfriend about paying. He said, “offer twice, then be gracious and say thank you.” That’s what i do now.
Work it out yourselves as adults not a trap on the waiter. Meanwhile as adults, the invitee has the right the claim the bill, otherwise split it. There are rare exceptions and you all should be mature enough to sort that out through conversation.
Exceptions: if a friend is unemployed or having trouble and I’m not I’ll always offer gently to pick up the bill. Don’t fight if they refuse. There’s a few friends where we alternate for historical reasons There’s one friend who helped my family in a way I don’t consider ever able to pay back, they know in advance that they don’t pay for meals if they’re with us. Because it’s simply the least we can do.
I’d tell my friend that this one is on me. If they protested I’d offer to let them take the next time we ate at a restaurant.
I’m a big fan of paying bills separately though.
I get up to go to the bathroom, find the waiter, and take care of it then.
I did this once only to have our friends get furious at the waiteress because they had intended on paying. We were in from out of town and they wanted to treat us. It was awkward… I felt really bad for waitress
You should feel terrible. They’re just trying to do their job while you’re making it awkward at best. This was always one of the most annoying things to deal with.
-Just put your card on the menu when you hand it to the waiter after ordering.
-when you use the washroom, find the waiter and give them your card.
-Talk to your friend before the check comes. Offer to pay, if no then go 50/50 or separate checks. They probably feel as awkward as you would if they paid.
…what?
Go to the bathroom, on the way somehow get the waiters attention, give them your card and tell them to be sure to charge it to yours.
This reminds me of my dad and grandfather having good natured arguments about who was going to pay. It would last a good 5-10 minutes, with one of them ‘winning’. It was all in good fun, and the wait staff usually had a blast watching.
In reality, they alternated who would pay, and did this mostly for fun.
Usually just hand your card to them as you ask for the check
So I go either of two way. Most of the time if my offer to pay is rejected I don’t offer again, I want to pay but also the other person wants to pay right… so I just let them. But if I’m absolutely determined to pay I’ll offer, if it’s rejected I don’t offer again but I don’t put my card away, when it’s time to tap or swipe and my friend is fucking around trying to get the card out of their wallet I move in and strike, and slam my card in that reader and the bill is paid before they even know what the fuck is going on, then I just walk off leaving them to accept the receipt of defeat from the cashiers.
The way you have written this, it feels like trying to defeat the boss in a video game.
Mumble one half-hearted remark about paying the bill, and trail off at the end. Then get up and go to the bathroom for 45 minutes.
Whomever invited the other person, have the “right” to pay. If you both just bumped into each other, then the “home” side pays. If both persons are locals, then the socially “senior” pays. If both are of the same social rank, then the one who didn’t pay the last time should pay. If all else fails, split it 50/50.
Such odd rules for paying. I’d rather just talk to the person I’m dining with and see what they want to do. I prefer to just pay for what I ordered in all scenarios but if they insist after I say no once then I’ll let them pay.
Important detail: who chose the restaurant? Your choice, your cheque.
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