I love genuine questions and people putting in the effort to love and understand each other better. If you come at me just wanting to argue I’m going to troll you back. FAFO.

  • 10 Posts
  • 36 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: June 12th, 2023
  • Apytele@sh.itjust.workstoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world•Does anyone else get so tired and depressed from saying you're good when people ask how you are?
    10·
    3 days ago

    I’ve gotten used to saying,“I continue to be blessed with gainful employment” in my usual flat sarcastic tone. At a surface level it’s gratitude focused, but the context of my high-stress job and my deadpan delivery accurately communicates my stress level but in a way people find just humorous enough that it doesn’t stress them out further in turn. Communicating my inner emotional state in a way they don’t find stressful also helps create that very slight emotional intimacy that they’re seeking by inquiring (but that also benefits the highly team-oriented nature of my work). On the other hand it allows both of us to maintain a comfortable emotional distance because it doesn’t really prompt any in-depth response or further inquiry into my well being, just an acknowledgement that I said it such as,“I know, right?”

    So I would maybe see if you can find a similar scripted / canned statement that communicates your actual emotional state in a slightly humorous manner. For instance “They’re gettin’ their money’s worth outta me today!” or if you work in a 9-5 office job people might respond well to “Whelp. It’s Monday alright.” You could even go extra catch-phrase-y and say something like “maybe not thriving, but definitely surviving!” Exactly what sounds good with your overall “vibe” in the context of the “vibe” of your workplace will vary and might take some experimentation to find. My above canned response suits my personal vibe because I’ve got that hyperlexic autism thing going on so the relative complexity of my phrasing makes people go,“Yup, that’s Apy alright!” (again, slight emotional intimacy) but also fits well in the context of a job that’s expected to be stressful.

    You can practice saying it in front of a mirror or under your breath and after a while it will just start rolling off your tongue with very little emotional or cognitive effort on your part. It’ll also require less emotional or cognitive effort than ruminating on your inner emotional state and feeling like you’re having to make a conscious decision about whether or not to lie about it or worse opening yourself up to dumb questions and statements from people who know next to nothing about how to actually discuss mental health concerns.

    Source: am high acuity psych nurse with a borderline personality diagnosis. I’ve had a lot of social skills training as part of my own diagnosis / treatment plus I’ve observed a lot of people’s behavior and had to learn a lot about team dynamics to do my job.

    Best of luck!

  • Apytele@sh.itjust.workstoAsklemmy@lemmy.ml•What is your favorite pen brand?
    3·
    7 days ago

    Papermate inkjoy. The other nurses keep trying to steal my last one that I stole from my last workplace just before it started going downhill and stopped buying the nice pens. It was about 6-8 months before they swapped all our managers and supervisors with ones that were literally physically violent. Now that I think about it the pens have actually been a pretty good thermometer of all my past workplaces. If you go to a hospital and all the nurses have the same decently nice pens, that means their employer is probably taking decent care of them (at least as far as healthcare execs go) and well kept nurses are better at taking care of patients.

  • Apytele@sh.itjust.workstoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world•What do you think have we taken for granted before it was enshittified?
    71·
    26 days ago

    Make the men moderate each other’s first messages. You need 3 out of five thumbs up before that first message even goes through. You have to rate five messages before you can try to send one. Make them see how many fucking weirdos there are and hopefully make them behave a little better to begin with by being self conscious about what five other dudes are gonna see. You want five other dudes to see your dick pic on the off chance 3/5 will upvote it? Good fucking luck. Don’t listen to me I just worked for a week in a hospital without running water my brain is a smoothie.

    I really miss the quizzes though. You could also make it so that you can limit your visibility to a threshold of question matching. I reconnected with the guy thought was cool in group therapy a year later when we were both doing much better because we were a 98% match. I didn’t pursue it at the time because meeting a partner in group therapy is a terrible idea particularly because you’re that fresh into recovery but it kind of vaguely felt like a missed connection. Turns out it was because we’re the same fucking person. A year later we were both doing much better and I get this message on OKC like “weird question - did we meet at (the fucking psych hospital we did outpatient at)” and he’s probably the only person in the history of ever that that line would ever work for. Thanks OKC!

    Also: and I say this as a crazy bitch who just got into gnosticism / esoteric Christianity, you need to include star signs. Idgaf if you think it’s fake or not (I myself am mostly in it for the cool rocks) but its already been said in this comment chain that attracting female users is gonna be rough. You need to be willing to meet people where they’re at (this also includes UI btw my female friends think a lot of fedi looks sketchy and don’t wanna be putting their photos in it). I’ve been able to make so many more female friends now that I know what my ascendant is and I’m not sure I even put the right birth time in so there’s a good chance it’s not even my real one. Its like saying you’re a packers fan or your favorite Linux distro. It’s a short set of words that quickly identify ingroups and outgroups and provides a noncommitally vague description of your personality. Just get off your high horse and roll with it we’re trying to get you laid here.

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