I wanna see some more fax spamming.

Mostly yolk, a richer flavor, and GREAT for baked goods. My girls are a variety of breeds, so I get an assortment of different sizes. Used to get blue eggs from my mallard until she stopped laying when she hit duck menopause lol

I don’t really eat eggs. I have ducks that lay eggs and if I really want some, I eat what they produce. I might try selling their eggs as a side hustle but a lot of people are grossed out by the concept of eating duck eggs for some reason lol

Well obviously, but I know that I’m lying and it just reminds me of how I’m shitty like 90% of days.

I used to think there wasn’t a point to life because we all just die. But then people told me that I couldn’t be successful and that made me mad so now I’m fueled by spite. I’ve achieved almost everything I have set out to do so far in life, so now I’m just here to have a good time.

My stepfather has made knives out of railroad spikes. Apparently it takes a super long time tho. He didn’t have an actual forge and just used the hottest burning blowtorch he could get to heat the metal.

Vinegar is just an incredible thing. It gets out so many weird substances and smells.

I used to be upset by all the mobile shit and then I went to college for computer stuff and started hating looking at computers after working on them all day. Now I’m a help desk tech and I don’t own a working computer of my own because using them outside of work feels like work. If I can’t do something official on mobile, I just get permission to do it on my work computer. If something for fun doesn’t have a mobile version, I don’t do whatever that thing is.

I do not like all the requests for phone numbers and shit, though. Just let me look at the site without being bothered.

I’m aware that I am a very messy person and I desperately wish I wasn’t. My executive dysfunction makes cleaning and keeping things clean so damn hard

God, I hope so

I really enjoy caring for and interacting with animals. I have raised a flock of ducks, own two cats, and two dogs. I volunteer at a stables 3x a week and horseback ride once a week. I grew up on farms, so I’m not comfortable unless there’s animal surrounding me. It’s kinda really expensive, but it’s more rewarding than anything else to build a bond with animals and train them and show them love.

I trained my dogs the basic dog stuff, and my beagle picked up some super specific commands over time. My ducks also know some commands and a few know their names. I am working on teaching barn manners to one of the horses I work with and I’m trying to desensitize her to totally mundane things she is a bit scared of. My cats know their names and probably know some of the commands I taught the dogs, but they’re cats lol. They do know to stop whatever they’re doing when I say, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

All of the critters get excited to see me, aside from my one cat who just exists in my house and likes my mom more than anyone else lol. We usually only interact when she wants something and it’s a HUGE deal if she seeks me out for attention.

Hate. Like I don’t understand how someone can hate others for the dumbest shit like race or sexuality or gender. Like, I don’t truly hate people easily, and when I do hate them, it’s because of their actions and/or words. Hating things/people is so exhausting. Idk how people can carry that shit around all the time.

I’m the total opposite. If I’m not surrounded by animals, I feel lost. I grew up on farms, so it’s natural for me to be among critters. I have quite the menagerie of my own. 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 10 ducks. I also informally adopted a horse, but I don’t pay for her bills. I just buy her things she deserves like a winter blanket and treats and other things like that.

It’s a Christmas miracle

My parents gave me money for some horseback riding lessons, except the cash was in all 5’s and each bill was individually ziploc’d and the bags were taped together in a long strip and I had to pull it out of this box with it all spooled up inside. Apparently it took my stepfather two days to complete. He wanted to do all 2 dollar bills, but the bank didn’t have enough

My mom loves this song and tries to sing it all sexy and its so cringe that I feel my soul leave my body

I have an entire spare dresser that has nothing but these drawers

Next mallard I get will be named that. Even if it’s a girl. Gotta do it for the meme

I got into chickens when my sister started 4H, and when our chickens died suddenly, my grandma got us 3 ducklings as a gift without consulting anyone. They imprinted on me immediately and I was like, “I guess this is my new obsession because I’m a mother now.”

That was 8 years ago. I started off with a Muscovy male, a muscovy female, and a mallard female. We rescued a second Muscovy female a couple years in. I moved to my own place in 2022 and brought the remaining birds with me, which were the Muscovy male and mallard female.

I ordered some more ducklings and rescued a couple birds over the course of 2022 and 2023. Right now I have:

2 female muscovies: Mama Duck and Lady. Mama Duck fights me over eggs, so I have to pull a Skyrim move and put a bucket on her head so I can take her eggs without her attacking me. Lady is very sweet and shows me her eggs and acts all happy when I compliment her best and thank her for the eggs.

A tiny male mallard and his mate who is a female mallard that looks like a male but has laid eggs. Little guy is Sonic (because he runs SO FAST) and his mate is Amy. Amy went through duck menopause about 6 months after I got her, so that’s why she looks like a male in terms of feathers. Without her ovaries producing female hormones, her feathers defaulted back to mostly male. She and Sonic were rescued from a local family who couldn’t care for them anymore.

A male Pekin that doesn’t have male traits but I’ve seen his dick a few times. His name is Salt. He is a lil chonky.

A male khaki Campbell named Pepper. He was purchased with Salt as a baby. They were on sale for 25% off and were 100000% an impulse buy. They’re besties and don’t leave each other’s sides.

A female khaki Campbell named Capri-Sun who yells a lot

A female Pekin named Judy. She’s named after judge Judy because she’s always squinting at me in a judgmental way and interrupts me with sassy quacks any time I talk to her. She’s done this since she was literally only a day old. She has a distinct quack that has a squeak to it.

A female golden layer named Cayenne who is hella chill.

A female Cayuga named Fashionista who is slowly turning from black to white with each molt of her feathers (that’s normal)

Does raising and training ducks count? I’m really good at it. I have care down to a science and I’ve done quite a bit medically because there aren’t any vets that treat ducks around me. I’ve rehabilitated crazy injuries, performed minor surgery, treated severe malnutrition and vitamin deficiencies.

I have trained all of my birds to listen to basic commands and they know their names and respond to them.