Dudley Dursley is our president.

Fringe. Love that shit, watched the whole thing 10x.

This is ectoplasm!

Found a good use for crowdfunding.

I love learning new things, thank you for helping update my phrasing! Also 35, maybe this is just when we’re supposed to learn this phrase?

I think you’re underestimating the Department of Education’s role in preventing red states from destroying public education. They can now do whatever they want with their education system and there is absolutely zero federal oversight coming their way. And you better believe Republican state legislatures are chomping at the bit for this one.

Edit: “champing at the bit” per u/slumberlust

mandatory minimums

duration

…fuck.

Don’t forget Colorado, we have lots of drugs!

Paw Patrol. They seem to have a handle on things. How many shitty human presidents have we had? How many shitty dog presidents? I rest my case.

“Computer, load program ‘Bear Stearns in 2008’”

“Tom, if irony was strawberries we’d all be drinking smoothies right now”

“Have you tried crack?”

Do you expect heterosexual relationships to be censored?

If we’re choosing to censor non-heterosexual relationships? Absolutely.

I’m having antitrust deja vu. Anybody else?

100%-ing that shit during lockdown was one of the hardest gaming feats I’ve ever accomplished. Next lockdown is going to be the DLC.

Didn’t know that character existed. Definitely going in the rotation.

We have very different wives.

What about your spouse/partner? Maybe they’d have sex with you instead?

they’re insisting on dinner at 3pm

I understand why some people do this (our extended family included), but I fucking HATE it.

I was born in the 90s. I’m a grumpy old man

I feel my bones turning to dust reading this.