While this article is not literally published by The Onion, it is in fact satire and not news, so I don’t think it really fits this community.
I thought this bit about the therapist made it pretty obvious:
“People are losing themselves,” said Dr. Aspen Riverstone, a local therapist who specializes in Post-Subaru Identity Crisis (PSIC).
But if that wasn’t enough for you, the disclaimer at the end should be:
This article is pure satire and should not be taken seriously (unless you, too, have questioned your entire existence after losing access to a forest green Subaru Outback—then we get it). No actual riots, therapy sessions, or underground Subaru trades took place (that we know of). And for those currently in crisis due to the lack of green Outbacks, stay strong. Your identity is more than your car. (Probably.)
If you actually thought this was “typical Oregon stuff”… I’m afraid you’ve eaten the onion.
I think the answer depends a lot on the use case of each business’s website and what the business owner/employees expect from it.
Is the website a storefront? You’ll be spending a lot of time maintaining integration with payment networks and ensuring that the transaction process is secure and can’t be exploited to create fake invoices or spammed with fake orders. Also probably maintaining a database of customer orders with names, emails, physical addresses, credit card info, and payment and order fulfillment records… so now you have to worry about handling and storing PII, maybe PCI DSS compliance, and you’ll end up performing some accounting tasks as well due to controlling the payment processing. HIPAA compliance too if it’s something medical like a small doctor’s office, therapist, dialysis clinic, outpatient care - basically anything that might be billable to health insurance.
Does the business have a private email server? You’ll be spending a lot of time maintaining spam filters and block lists and ensuring that their email server has a good reputation with the major email service providers.
Do the employees need user logins so that they can add or edit content on the website or perform other business tasks? Now you’re not just a web host, you’re also a sysadmin for a small enterprise which means you’ll be handling common end-user support tasks like password resets. Have fun with that.
Do they regularly upload new content? (e.g. product photos and descriptions, customer testimonies, demo videos) Now you’re a database admin too.
Does the website allow the business’s customers to upload information? (comments/reviews/pictures/etc, e.g. is it Web 2.0 in some way) god help you.
You’re going to expose this to the public internet. It will be crawled, and its content scraped by various bots. At some point, someone will try to install a cryptominer on it. Someone will try to use it as a C2 server. Someone will notice that you’re running multiple sites/services from one infrastructure stack and attempt to punch their way out of the webhost VM and into the main server just to poke around and see what else you’ve got there. Someone will install mirai and try to make it part of a DDOS service provider’s network.