Might not be ideal but perhaps simpler, do you have the ability to upgrade your service to business class? Usually the business tiers allow such things and they will support self hosting and open up the ports for you if you ask. It will likely cost more for the same speed you currently have. Another option to consider

Pepperidge farms remembers

I read an interesting take on 2012, which the Mayans or some ancient civilization also predicted. That the end of the world would be slow, and take years. It’s not going to be instant. I think it’s happening now, this cursed timeline that we’re all in.