cobysev

Well, I did serve throughout the Iraq War. I got some PTSD from my time in war zones that is a 70% disability rating alone. Plus several minor and major physical injuries over the years that I never fully recovered from.

The VA doesn’t do a direct addition when it comes to disability, so a 10% rating and a 10% rating doesn’t equal a 20% rating overall. They have some weird equation to calculate disability, which would probably bring it out to 12-15% disability total. But I had so many claims to submit, I made it all the way to 100%.

I thought I had maybe 2-3 medical claims to make when I retired. But I spoke with a VA counselor who spent 3 hours pouring over my 20 years of medical records in the military, then went over every single body part and asked detailed questions about my functionality and how it’s potentially degraded over the years since I joined the military. By the end, I had 33 claims to submit, and the VA accepted 30 of them. Enough small ratings (plus a few large ones) got me all the way to 100%.

I may not look disabled if you met me in person, but I am struggling, both mentally and physically. The VA actually fixed my knees; I was walking with a cane for the last 4 years I was in the military. But it’s not a perfect fix, so I still struggle to get around and I can’t run anymore without pain. But I don’t need a cane anymore, so there’s that.

YOU ARE ONLY 38?!

I was 38 when I retired three years ago, actually. I’m about to turn 41 in a few months. Sorry if I didn’t write that clearly in my comment.

The first few years going home feels like nothing ever changes but I recently went to my home town for a wedding and saw some friends for the first time in 15 years. Wow did the passage of time hit me like a truck.

I feel this. In my early years of the military, I used to take a month off every year and go home to chill with family and friends. The first few years of that, it was like nothing changed. But then I started dating my future wife and spending my time off traveling and honeymooning with her. When I did finally go home again, I almost didn’t recognize it. My friends and family had moved further away, my hometown had changed, everything was suddenly different.

True, 38 isn’t that old. But keep in mind, I’m 100% disabled according to the VA. Two decades of military service has wrecked my body, so I’m unable to work any physically demanding job. Heck, I struggle just to go up and down stairs in my own house without pain in my knees and back.

Which is a shame, because I was an extremely fit and active person in my youth. That’s part of the reason I joined the military - I was in the best shape of my life and could keep active all day without breaking a sweat. I’m actually frustrated now that just walking from my house to my mailbox takes me out of action for an hour or two.

I keep telling myself I’m young, but my body’s acting like it’s 80 years old. That’s the one downside to military service; it can easily overstress your joints and physically age you much faster than normal.

This is a compartmentalization technique seen in a lot in people with ADHD. Not saying OP has ADHD, but it’s something to look into if they have other signs.

I did this for literal decades. I was excited to start my adult life after high school, but an opportunity I couldn’t pass up dropped into my lap, so I chose that route instead.

Joining the US military was that opportunity. My uncle explained how the Air Force had taken care of him for 30 years, giving him free food, free lodging, free education, free travel around the globe, free medical and dental, and a steady, decent paycheck on top of it all. It sounded too good to be true, so I signed up as well. I figured I could get back to my plans for adult life later, after I’d taken advantage of all the benefits the military could offer me.

20 years later (3 years ago), I retired from the Air Force. It was a pretty stressful career, in a positive way, so I was glad to get home, relax a bit, then finally pick up my life where I left off.

The things is, a lot happens in 2 decades. All my friends had left town and moved on to new lives, new careers, created new families, etc. my own family had mostly moved away, except for my dad who was still living in my childhood home. He offered to let my wife and I stay with him rent free as long as we wanted. He passed away last year and I inherited the house from him.

So now I’m back in my childhood home, just starting to really get settled back in and trying to figure out what to do with myself. I feel like my life has been on hold for so long, I don’t even know where to start in picking things back up again. I’m not young anymore, so a lot of the physically active jobs and hobbies I was previously interested in are either difficult or impossible for me now. I also changed a lot mentally with 20 years of military service. I’m not the same person I was at 18, so I have to readjust my interests and hobbies.

Fortunately, I have a lifelong pension from the military. I was grandfathered into the old pension program before they switched to a 401K-type plan, so I get paid half my final paycheck every month for the rest of my life. I also got the coveted “100% Permanent & Total” disability rating from the VA, so that is an additional monthly payment for life that’s about double the size of my pension. Plus free medical and dental for life. My wife didn’t retire from the military, but she also got the 100% P&T disability rating, so she gets the same medical pay and benefits as me.

So with all this passive income, we can actually be retired, as of 38 years old, and have the free time every day to focus on rediscovering our lives. I don’t feel like I need to put my life on pause while I work a job I don’t necessarily care for, or save up enough money for something I really want to do. I can live my life fully now, unpaused, for the first time in my life. It’s been very liberating, both mentally and physically.

We set up Teams during the pandemic (because Zoom was being a bitch about the govt not paying to use their full suite). We already used a bunch of other Microsoft products, so it was easy to get a contract for Teams integration too. I don’t remember Teams giving people a notification when you joined though, just the meeting host. But I’ve also been retired for nearly 3 years now, so I have no idea how Teams has changed recently.

Your boss has no right to ask you to come earlier than your agreed time.

In the military, they have every right.

You see, when you join the military, you sign a contract for 4-6 years of service. The day that contract begins, you start your first shift and it doesn’t technically end until your contract expires, several years later. You’re on shift 24/7/365 until your contract is up. So your boss can demand you work any shift or come in at any time, day or night, and you just have to do it. Even if it’s outside of your normally scheduled work hours.

There are regulations that outline “regular passes,” which is time off granted daily because you’re human and can’t literally work 24/7. A regular pass allows you to go home, eat, sleep, and be refreshed for the next day. I don’t know if the federal regs have changed in the last handful of years, but the last time I looked them up, you couldn’t work more than 17 hours straight before you were required to take a minimum 8 hours off to rest. Most shifts are typically 8-12 hours long, so hopefully you don’t get stuck working a 17-hour shift anytime soon.

The whole point of this is that military people need to be ready to respond to war, no matter when it strikes. You don’t work a regular day shift, then argue about extra hours or overtime pay when shit hits the fan. You just grab your bugout bag and go. And yes, we don’t get overtime pay because again - we’re always on shift.

We do get lots of time off, though. From the day you join, you start earning 2.5 days off for every month you serve, which adds up to 30 days off per year. You can carry over something like 60 days off every year too. It was pretty nice. In my early service days, I would save up a whole month of time off and then take it all at once to go hang out with my friends and family back home.

When I served in the military, my first supervisor taught me a valuable lesson: “15 minutes early, or you’re late.” I actually got in trouble with her if I was less than 15 minutes early to any meeting, appointment, or event.

Or even arriving to work. We worked in an IT field, so our office had a large row of server racks along one wall. Her desk sat facing the door, but next to the GPS server that kept accurate time for all our computers on the military base. It had a giant digital clock on the front of the server. Every day when I walked into work, she would look up at me, then turn and look at that clock. If I was even 10 seconds late (to the 15-minute rule), I got in trouble with her. I was never late to work though, because she ensured I was always there earlier than my official shift start time.

Being 15 minutes early to everything has changed my life. If I’m running behind, I have a quarter hour window to get myself back on track. If I arrive 15 minutes early, I have plenty of time to get myself set up and situated. Or just time to sit and clear out some other pending tasks while I wait for a thing to start (check phone notifications, clear out emails, etc.).

When it comes to virtual meetings, I like to join 15 minutes early, then mute myself and turn off my camera. Then I can sit at my computer and knock out some other tasks while I’m waiting for the meeting to start. That buffer gives me time to mentally switch into meeting mode while also giving me time to be productive beforehand. And no one is waiting for me to show up, so if the meeting is ever running late, it’s never my fault.

My meds are mailed to me from the VA. I can’t just go pick them up at any ol’ pharmacy. If I’m late in requesting refills, then I’m just out of meds until they arrive in the mail, and it can take a week or more to get here. So I really need to not procrastinate.

In an emergency, I can always go to the nearest VA hospital and ask for meds, but I do enjoy the convenience of having them arrive at my doorstep. Especially since the nearest hospital is a 45+ minute drive from my home.

I’ve been married for about 16 years now and it took a very long time to get my wife into FPS games. Even still, she generally won’t play unless me or one of our friends is also playing with her. She mostly prefers mobile games that give her something distracting to do.

Her first FPS game was Deep Rock Galactic. She was terrible with the first person view initially, but over the last few years, she’s gotten pretty used to it and she’s pretty good now.

In the first grade, I was bullied by a popular kid in my school.

Back in those days (early '90s), the cool thing was to have pencil grips. Kids loved to show off an assortment of colors and styles of them. This bully of mine happened to have a single pencil, covered from tip to eraser with pencil grips, which was his prize possession. He was always showing it off to everyone. It was rumored he’d been stealing them off other kids, but no one could definitively prove it.

When he wasn’t looking one day, I snatched his favorite pencil with all the pencil grips. It was justice for all the times he picked on me in grade school. I enjoyed watching him frantically turn his backpack inside out, trying to find it.

I didn’t get to keep it for long, though. A week later, one of the stricter teachers found it in my backpack and told me I had too many pencil grips for a single pencil, so she confiscated it. I didn’t know any better at the time, or else I would’ve complained about her stealing my property. But it was already stolen, so I didn’t really care to fight it.

That was the first and last time I stole something. I actually agonized over it for a long time afterward. I was relieved when the teacher stole it from me because it was finally out of my hands and I didn’t have to worry about it anymore. I never stole anything else again; the anxiety of holding onto stolen goods etched itself deep into my psyche.

Also calling out my sister: When I was maybe 6 or so, my mother found a stash of candy in a cabinet of our kitchen; mostly Lifesavers. She asked me where it came from and I just shrugged. She then asked my sister, who was 2 years younger than me, and my sis immediately broke down crying. Turns out, every time my mother went to the gas station, my little sis would grab a couple rolls of Lifesavers and pocket them. She thought my parents would never look in the messy cabinets of our kitchen.

I'm pretty sure she never stole again after getting caught. She was a wreck for a while afterward and almost terrified of candy when offered.

I’ve lived too much of my life as male. I think it’d be impossible to erase or dissociate from +30yrs of me. Hell, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to stop seeing myself as a man.

I totally get this. As a 40-yr old with extremely masculine features, there’s no way I could ever successfully transition. Maybe if transitioning was a thing back when I was like 12-14 years old, I might’ve had a chance. But I’ve been male for so long, and even more masculine in appearance than most men I know, so I think it’s only something I can fantasize about at this point.

I think it was paid… But it’s been years so I couldn’t tell you.

It’s currently $3.99 in the Play Store for me, with a crossed-out list price of $6.49. Not a bad deal.

When I was stationed in Germany with the US military in 2010, I wrecked my car in a blizzard. It was totaled; I couldn’t drive it anymore and I needed to get to work every day, so I dropped cash on a used 2006 Mazda 3. It was a 5-speed manual and was in immaculate condition. The former owner had detailed journal entries and receipts for every bit of maintenance they’d ever done. They were only selling it because they had more cars than they needed at the time and they needed some quick cash.

Fast forward to 2020… I was stationed in Nebraska and my Mazda 3 was finally showing its age. I had driven it across most of Europe and half of the US, and its mileage was approaching 200K. I was in the market for a new car.

I found myself “deployed” to South Carolina for 4 months during the pandemic, and while I was there, my wife called me up and asked if I wanted her to buy a new car for me. Apparently, some married friends of hers bought a brand-new 6-speed 2017 Mazda 3 Touring Edition as their daily driver to college classes. But their entry to college was delayed a few years, then the pandemic hit and all classes moved online. So it was just cluttering up their garage. They had 5 cars and hardly drove any of them, so they decided to sell 4 of them during the pandemic.

The 2017 Mazda 3 had only 7,000 miles on it. And they sold it to me for $17K cash. It was a helluva deal! I sold my 2006 Mazda 3 to a coworker and my wife bought the 2017 version for me. And I’ve been driving it since. It’s way nicer than my older version, and the previous owners had even paid for some upgrades to the base car.

I’m retired now, since 2022, and I don’t need to drive as much as I used to, but I always take my 2017 Mazda 3 when I leave the house. I enjoy cruising around in that car. It’s not a super fancy luxury car, but it’s the nicest car I’ve ever owned. I’m hoping I can get a solid decade or more out of this car before I need another one.

Got me. 🤗 Poor spelling/grammar is a pet peeve of mine, but it’s so hard to point out online without getting a lot of hate. I only responded here because it was topical and, I assumed, intentional.

I dare you to proof that its dead.

I don’t know if this comment was intentionally improper, but…

• prove
• it’s

I’m fine with apps, as long as I’m not drowning in them for redundant services; i.e. I installed a bunch of Lemmy apps while I was trying it out, but now that I’ve settled on one, I removed all the others. I try to curate my apps every now and then and keep the clutter at a minimum, or at least remove any that I’m not regularly using.

YouTube is one app I will not use, though. Using Firefox with uBlock Origin, I can prevent it from advertising to me. But I can’t stop ads in their app. So I’ve disabled their app (can’t remove it, as I currently have a Google phone) and I forwarded all YouTube links to Firefox.

I’m too anal about cleanliness and organization, my house typically doesn’t have a drawer like this. My favorite mantra in the home, which my chronically disorganized wife is tired of hearing me repeat, is “a place for everything and everything in its place.”

However. I inherited my childhood home when my dad passed away this year (my wife and I had already been living here for a few years, in a separate apartment in the house) and my dad had a junk drawer like this. As a matter of fact, my dad was extremely messy and almost every drawer in his house looks like this. It’s probably the reason I’m so anal about organization in my life; having to grow up in a constantly messy home.

Growing up in this house, though, my family always had 2 drawers side-by-side in the kitchen which were always filled with random junk. They’re still here. I haven’t gotten to them yet. So yes, my current house has a couple junk drawers. But if I have my way, they will be organized and cleared out. If there’s going to be any messy containers filled with miscellaneous junk in the house, it’ll be boxes stored in the garage or basement - not a random drawer.

When my parents first moved in to my childhood home in the mid-'80s, the 6-acre property was wide-open fields next to plowed farm land, with a handful of freshly planted trees scattered around the property. I loved to run and play across all the open land as a child.

When I was really young, my dad decided to let sections of our 6-acre plot of land go back to nature, because he didn’t have the time nor energy to care for it all.

When I was old enough to use our riding mower by myself, (around 10 years old) I made it a personal goal to reclaim some of the land. Which got me in trouble every time my dad caught me mowing down the tall grass. But apparently, my mother was also upset about the lost lawn. When my dad wasn’t home, she would go out and trim back the overgrowth so we had some semblance of lawn around the house.

When I turned 18, I joined the military and left home. About a decade into my service, my parents divorced and my mom moved out. When I retired from the service after 20 years served, my wife and I moved back in with my dad.

It turns out that my dad spent the past decade ignoring large chunks of the lawn. I came home to a literal forest on the property, where trimmed lawn and open grassy fields used to be. My dad was old and suffering from Parkinson’s Disease, so he wasn’t able to mow much anymore and pretty much gave up on the lawn. I did my best to keep it trim around the house, then I started cutting back overgrowth and the new trees forming in the yard.

It’s been almost 3 years since I moved back in. My dad passed away almost a year ago and I inherited my childhood home from him. I’m still spending my summers cutting back overgrowth and trimming/removing trees. This will probably take me another decade by myself to reclaim the land, but I intend to turn it back into a beautifully manicured property instead of the tangled, overgrown nightmare my dad left it to become.

I started 30 years ago on this side project and I’m still going today.

Chocolate soda…?

According to that first link, it costs $6.1 billion to $11.7 billion annually to run YouTube. Even if you segment that into niche video communities, it’ll still cost hundreds of millions of dollars annually to host it, if you get a decent amount of traffic.

This is why YouTube is a monopoly. Because they have the ridiculous amount of money to throw at a “free” video hosting site. Any other video host would crumble under the weight of YouTube’s level of traffic. That’s also why some others, like Nebula, require a subscription model to function. Or any movie/TV show streaming service. They can’t afford to host that stuff for free.

This is also why Google is so obsessed with cracking down on anti-ad software. That’s how they make the money that pays for YouTube.

I chose not to participate.

I joined the military as soon as I graduated high school, got a solid 20 years of free food, free shelter, free college education, free travel, and plenty of life skills/experiences, all while collecting a solid income. Then I retired at 38 years old, collected a pension and a 100% VA disability check for the rest of my life (which includes free medical/dental for life), and inherited my childhood home in the countryside when my father passed away this year.

I do what I can to help out my local community, but I’m not working and have no need to contribute to capitalism. I make my own schedule each day, do whatever hobbies/goals I have the energy for, then call it a day whenever and start again the next morning.

My wife gets the same VA benefits, although she didn’t serve long enough to collect a pension; she was medically discharged. So we’re both just enjoying a quiet life in the countryside, no jobs, just focused on whatever makes us happy each day.

This is the life everyone deserves to have, and I’m upset that capitalism is basically the opposite of this lifestyle. They preach that if you’re not working, you’re a drain on society. Because the fewer workers they have, the less money that’s generated for the rich elites running the capitalist regime. That’s why our retirement age keeps going up. The longer people live, the more time they have to be productive members of “society” (read: capitalism). No thanks; I retired at 38 and I’m happy enjoying my youth while I still have some semblance of it.

EDIT: I just want to point out that military life was basically democratic socialism, with all our needs met, the govt ensuring we had food and a home, education was free, most all work-related expenses paid for. (uniforms, travel, etc.) Our paycheck was basically just spending money for us. We didn’t have to worry about covering bills because we received a separate “allowance” to cover rent/mortgage and utilities. Food was another allowance on top of our paycheck. If we were reassigned to another base somewhere in the world, the govt would foot the bill for movers and they packed your house for you. And you basically had to break the law to be kicked out of the military, so job security was excellent. We all got paid based on our rank and time in service, so it didn’t matter if you were a geothermal physicist or just handing out towels at the gym; everyone got the same wage across the board. It was an ideal situation. You’ll be hard pressed to find something similar in the rest of America.