There is an implicit binary choice here, so “whether” fits. Both work, although I, for one, prefer to use “whether” for binary choices and “if” when there are more options. This is similar to my preference for “between” only for two things and “among” for more than two.
The phrase “I’m wondering if… can…” needs a noun or pronoun between “if” and “can”. As soon as you try to remove that (by moving it out to “The monkey who…”), the phrase stops being grammatical. We’d understand you, but it would require significant effort to parse the sentence. That seems to be what makes this sound strange, no matter what we try to do with it.
I don’t know whether other languages can do this, but English can’t.
Your last paragraph contains the clue. What message do you genuinely believe your brother will understand from you refusing to attend his wedding? Will it do any good? Does it seem likely to change anyone’s behavior?
If yes, then don’t go. If no, then put that thought aside and reconsider whether you actually want to go, then decide based on that.
I keep mine in Bitwarden, I export that data every 3 months and store it in a Backblaze backup, I have it written on a piece of paper stored in a locked fire box in my house, and that paper scanned in my phone.
I can’t imagine not having at least one of those in 10 years and I can’t imagine all four failing in the same week.
Does that give you any helpful ideas that would work for you?
Combine with jc to process CSV files. This is how I get data into my plain text accounting system.
Do you struggle to remember the names of commands or how to use them or how you have used them in the past?
Underrated or not widely known?
I love lazygit and I’m still surprised at how many people are shocked when they see it for the first time. Not exactly a command, but a very handy text UI tool.
For more elementary tools, I can’t believe how many people know about ! and ctrl+r who don’t also know about fc and edit-and-execute-command.
Which kind of “best” is your “best”?
This is one piece of software that has an update almost every time I open it and I’m never ever worried about updating it. 💪
Would it be good enough for you if you heard the conspiracy theories around you, but you could mostly not be affected by what they’re saying?
I have used it as a nicer version of web search, mostly for “How do I write code using this library I’m not yet familiar with?” It provides passable tutorials when the library’s documentation is sparse (I get it) or poorly written (they tried 🤷♂️).
Me. I should sweat into bottles.
Women being intimate openly remains more socially acceptable than men doing it, at least presumed heterosexual men.
I have noticed a shift in the last five years and more of the (heterosexual) men in my social circles have openly hugged me more enthusiastically than they used to.
I have become more comfortable being affectionate in public in general, but that’s about becoming more comfortable with myself, rather than a matter of what’s assumed to be socially acceptable of the various genders. I’m definitely falling into the category of life’s too short and I’ll be dead sooner than I’d like to admit, so here I am, motherfuckers. Deal with it.
Declaring bankruptcy on a five-figure loan. I knew what I was getting into and I rolled snake-eyes.
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I lived for three months in Mazatlán. I get it.
I don’t know if anyone else has this problem but I have a really pacific issue.
The word you want here is “specific”. 👍
I would like to add this: I’m pretty articulate in English, and even though I speak French quite well, I sometimes feel like a small child when I try to speak it with my francophone friends, which is why I shy away from that. I feel like I barely know how to express myself and, since I find that so easy in English, it frightens me to struggle so much with it.
I say all this to let you know that you’re not alone and that practice is, indeed, a path to success. It might not be what you need, but it’s worth trying.
Where can you practise speaking that you feel safe? Where you can expect not to be judged nor ridiculed?
You seem to be ready for either mindfulness meditation or Stoic philosophy. Neither one provides a quick fix, but the benefits accumulate over time.
I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I wish you peace.