macrocarpa

I don’t live in the us so I can’t comment on any change that has been or not been.

I do know that privilege itself obscures experience. Compassion and empathy are built on experience. Therefore expecting someone who is privileged to have compassion or empathy to those without the same privilige is unrealistic. They have to be shown, or brought to a point where they can align their experience with others.

exclusively cishet white population who are financially well off.

…there’s your problem.

Why would they care? At worst they’re unaffected. At best they’re benefitting. What is their impetus for change?

Per some of the comments above - add urgency, being in / not being in control, exertion are all part of it.

Finishing a half marathon

Attending a concert with 20k other people and singing one of my favourite songs at the top of my lungs

The 30 to 40 seconds after my first experience scuba diving

Surfing, believe it or not. - the feeling of being picked up and pushed forward at the same time, then being in control / out of control and elated at the same time

Dancing in darkness to uplifting music, sometimes even exercising in the dark

Riding downhill trails in the dark (wirh headlight of course)

Bingo. I think that’s the key to it - if you do it with the intent of getting something from someone, people will work that out pretty quickly and resent it. It comes over as being…greasy.

If it’s done from the perspective of having genuine interest, care and empathy it makes it easier to work as a group.

Yep. There’s people that want to keep distance at work and don’t appreciate it. Just have to respect that and leave them to it.

Not the most manipulative but

Keep a log of the birthdays, hobbies and names of spouses and children of colleagues, managers, team members and customers.

I learnt this from a guy who did executive search. People remember you, when you remember what is important to them.

When I’ve lead teams it’s one of the first things I find out - note down when someone says “yeah Gary that’s my hubby, he’s super into gaming”

• Gary (husband.)
• likes gaming

When you’re a manager, your teams families, partners and friends know your name. Reciprocating that - learning who is important to them - is really important.

Aka inconsiderate people

Wore a maroon coloured hoodie

The dude who asked me this also stared fixedly at the crotch of my board shorts and asked me “where’s your package, man?” upon me exiting climbing out of a (cold) plunge pool

I clearly looked confused, so he says “where’s your piece?”

Dude clearly spent a fair amount of his time cataloguing the outlines of flaccid penises through boardshorts for whatever fucking reason.

I was offended, ish, till I heard the growers vs show-ers thing. Mine retracts while not in use, it’s quite convenient.

Oh one more. Contagion. Made years and years before covid - pretty spot on tho.

Simultaneously made me want to try, and to never ever try, drugs

Once were warriors

If you’re employed, there is a compulsory contribution of 10% of your pay which goes into superannuation (retirement savings)

You can also do voluntary contributions which you get a tax benefit on.

The compounded growth over time and the enforced nature of the savings means that every person who works contributes to their own retirement.

Some companies match voluntary contributions up to a threshold. And you get a tax benefit from it.

Because it’s compulsory, it isn’t really considered part of your remuneration. Companies will talk about total rem but most employees talk about base pay.

Only issue is massive superannuation providers with a huge amount of market clout. But you can be very prescriptive, or you can set up your own super fund.

Boring yes but easier to see, involved in proportionally fewer accidents, surface scratches are harder to see, remains cooler when parked outside, much easier to resell, always available, doesn’t attract attention, and the base white is normally cheaper…

I completely get it for a lease car. It’s a work vehicle, not a passion project.

Superannuation

Minimum 10% compulsory

Reminds me of that 20th century philosopher, C.G.L. Wallace, who quipped “mo money, mo problems”

Panic attack (I hope)

It’s awful

Sometimes the base level of aggression or the base level of inflection is way higher than what you’re locally tuned for.

Anecdotally I have found even business conversations with people from the US to be over the top. Especially through the sales cycle. There is a lot of hype that I need to adjust for in comparison to vendors in the UK, Europe and Asia.

It’s not a bad thing, it’s a social standard. I probably appear quiet reserved and shy by comparison.

I was young and naive, even a couple years later I would’ve done a bit of digging. You know, questions like what’s his name, how long you guys been going out for, shouldn’t he be here with you in your moment of need given your fucking dog is dead.

Mate I’ve had some cracker first dates that didn’t work out in the long run but were absolutely part of the tapestry which got me to here.

The number of good first dates far outweighs the weird and shitty ones.

Some of my most treasured experiences are those quiet intimate moments just between two of you. An experience that just the two of you share. It is profound.

We are our experiences.

Asked a girl out on a date. She invited me over to watch a movie with her at her parents house (we were in our late teens). I arrived; her recently deceased family dog and incredibly distressed mother were both in the kitchen. Dog was a really big golden retriever that had been euthanized, and the mom had bought him home? Not sure why? Maybe to bury in the back yard or something? Idk

Anyway I offered to leave but she was insistent that we watch the movie together, which we did, on the couch, with her mom crying in the next room. Halfway through the movie the mom screams he’s still alive, he’s still alive. Go into the kitchen, she’d gone to move the body and it had expelled air and made some noise. I had to explain, with my best year 12 biology, what had happened. Five minutes of this woman losing her shit with grief out of her beloved companion dying.

Girl insisted we watch the last 10 minutes of the movie, it finishes with us watching in silence, I get up to leave and said something stupid like hey I’d love to do this again sometime and she says “I have a boyfriend”

I’m like alright well that’s that then and didn’t put in any more effort. Stupid me, she was hot and I really liked her. Being a dipshit I wrote a song about it, using the three guitar chords I knew, which takes me to act ii…

…five years later, I’m at a party, exchanging worst first date stories with friends and fellow partygoers including a cute blonde. I wait my turn, tell the story, she laughs her arse off and then goads me into singing the song, accompanying myself poorly on the guitar. I absolutely fucking nail it, everyone is in stitches, sit down next to her and the night goes from there. We end up leaving the party for a walk down to the local beach, made out on the beach, things get frisky, jump in a cab back to my house, in bed together, have drunken sex…which results in a broken condom. She lives literally the other side of town so we have to wait till (a) I’m sober enough to drive and (b) pharmacy is open to get a plan b, then have the most awkward drive back to her house. Get there, offer to walk her to the door, she says no, kisses me goodbye in the car, then texts me…to say she has a boyfriend.