clever & funny bio goes here
When I was in middle school, on an organized camping trip to a lake where we would work on our canoeing skills, another kid and I started to horseplay. We were struggling over who could take a specific canoe paddle. My opponent held the handle, and I the blade. We each tried using the paddle to shove at the other & cause them to lose control, thereby securing the paddle for our own exclusive use.
Nevermind that there were a dozen other equally good paddles laying around unclaimed, we had to fight over that specific paddle.
I wound up losing my grip right as my opponent shoved. The blade hit me square on the bridge of my nose. I bled like crazy.
It wasn’t until several years afterwards that I realized how perilously close I had come to losing one or both eyes.
When I was in early elementary school, my dad would take me & my sister to the local mall. He would get us all books at the Waldenbooks - he would get a scifi pulp novel, I would get a Garfield book, and my sister would get a Calvin & Hobbes book. Then he’d take us to a restaurant there in the mall, and we’d have a nice leisurely lunch while reading our new books.
You are 100% correct
I didn’t have a bully in high school, but my middle school bully is serving a life sentence with no possibility of parole - he broke into an old woman’s house, raped her, murdered her, robbed her house, and got caught because he used her credit cards at the mall.
Chatgpt suggests that with a 0.3mm tip pen, and writing letters no more than 2mm x 2mm, you could fit roughly 1000 names per side of an a4 sheet.
So if you’re fine with the default means of killing, and use both sides of the paper, you could take out about 2000 people.
As far as how I would personally use it? I’d put down maybe two or three names per month. I don’t have the greatest fine motor skills around, so I could fit maybe 250 names per side at most.
Who would I target? Idk. My first thought would be people like Putin & Kim Jong Un, but the concern there is if those two chucklefucks suddenly die, their countries will descend into chaos and there’s no telling what will happen to their nukes.
Most any job I’ve ever had: drop a log on the boss’s desk
Two jobs ago: I worked at a teapot factory. If you walked the length of the plant floor and hit the emergency stop on each production line, that would be a good way to disappear quickly.
Mike: Walter shut the fuck up and let me die in peace
Walter: doesn’t shut the fuck up, to nobody’s surprise
I liked Madame Web.
I know in most places online that’s tantamount to saying you enjoy being mean to puppies & kittens, but I enjoyed the movie.
Why? Because of the precognition plot element. Was it as smooth & impressive as Knives Out? No, but I’m still glad I watched it.
“Jared from Subway is such an inspiration!”
Ha! Not sure how much that would have helped, since I’d have still looked like Peter Griffin albeit with perky boobs.
Drunk: brazenly hitting on a lesbian who was holding hands with her partner
High: one time at the dentist, they gave me anesthesia prior to oral surgery (remember to brush & floss, kids). I was high enough that I thought they were going to give me a boob job instead of a root canal. Because I was high as a kite, I couldn’t really move or communicate, so I just went in & out of consciousness. This was a dozen or so years ago, and I just remember being confused the rest of the day about it.
Part of why it’s so catchy for me is how it samples Suzanne Vega’s hit Tom’s Diner.
Normal conversational speed: dubya
Enunciating: double you
Need to be unambiguous: whiskey
Ah, little Bobby Tables
I get a week and a half off without having to use any vacation time. Ideally, I’ll get to have a day where I can just sit on my butt and not do shit.
I think I was around 10 when I first realized it.
What clued me in was my dad, whose favorite meal was a tuna sandwich and a diet coke, insisting that Santa didn’t want milk & cookies, Santa wanted a tuna sandwich and diet coke.
I didn’t come here directly after reddit. Stopped off at mastodon first, but it was too twitter-like for my taste. Saw Lemmy on a list of alternatives, and this place scratches the itch pretty well.
For a slightly above average banana, I’d pay negative 6.1 million dollars.
I drink a decent amount of water before bed. It’s hard to oversleep when you have to piss