Tanis Nikana

Look for the helpers.

I have no imagination and my legal name is Tanis Nikana.

It scans like a username when it’s all lower case and jammed together though.

It’s not really a holiday, but hanami is my favorite. Late March or early April, I take my dining table, some dishes, hundreds of dollars of sashimi, and go get it all up for friends under some sakura. I love it so much.

My applications menu icon (or the “start” menu for the philistines) is a 🐢.

But seriously though, DiCaprio freaks me out, Trump freaks me out for the same reason, among others.

I mean, what’s wrong with dating one’s age?

I don’t wanna be dating someone half my age, then I die. That just seems cruel.

I’m getting downvoted, but it’s an honest statement and I stand by it.

Half your age plus seven doesn’t work a lot of the time. I’m 39, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable dating someone who’s even 32, they are baby. Not happening, no way. Likewise, even 46 is too old for me.

Then again, anecdote isn’t data, and DiCaprio effectively cancels me out, so whatever.

Katalepsis does exactly this for millions of words, and it’s (unfortunately) one of the best books I’ve read in my life.

Oh look, it’s Heather Morell, running off and doing shit without telling anyone.

And if someone says “hey, can you come fix my computer,” and when you show up she just lays in bed and looks at you longingly from there, that means you really got to fix the computer and then leave so she can get some sleep.

Ah, my username is my legal name and there are pictures of me in my account. My username everywhere is my legal name, cause I think I lack imagination.

So I guess I’m fucked exactly this much, which doesn’t seem like a lot.

I generally get left alone. Everyone worries about their own personal problems enough to have time to bother someone random on the internet.

Edit: if I post my address, someone’s gonna ring my doorbell and scare my birds, so you’re not getting it. I’m in the Portland metro area though.

YUUUUP

Curse the military-industrial complex, that’s reason #3,591!

Excuse you, it doesn’t take four hours to get to Seattle, you just have to do like 90 miles an hour between like Kalama and Tacoma, like everyone else.

Once in a while, I’ll arbitrarily drop juh-LAP-in-oh in a grocery store, just to see who flinches.

Zoos, pet stores, mascots. Always with express permission, always wash hands after. Never touch wild turtles, always touch captive turtles very gently on the shell.

I wanna touch more unique turtles this year than I did last year, and last year I touched seven turtles.

It’s okay if I pet the same turtles again though, new year, new goal.

🐢

(That said, I much prefer an actionable and enjoyable goal like “go touch some turtles” to something nebulous and frustrating and intangible.)

I wanna touch more unique turtles this year than I did last year, and last year I touched seven turtles.

It’s okay if I pet the same turtles again though, new year, new goal.

🐢

(That said, I much prefer an actionable and enjoyable goal like “go touch some turtles” to something nebulous and frustrating and intangible.)

I’m gonna throw in for Zachtronics Solitaire Collection.

Most of Zach’s games are about engineering assorted things to meet demands like speed or efficiency, but he would always bundle a fun and thematic solitaire variant in with his games.

This is all the solitaire games collected, with all the engineering cut out. I’ve probably put a couple thousand hours into it, and since it’s just in my pocket, I can pick it up and play while waiting on food and such, playing before I sleep, and just random games of solitaire folded throughout my day.

(My favorite in the collection is Fortune’s Foundation, a Fortress variant that puts away a whole tarot deck, major arcana included.)

A contracted version of “asexual,” those who do not feel sexual attraction.

Being an ostensibly-male-ish high schooler with a bad grasp of English and good looks had gotten me so much attention.

And every goddamn one of them was disappointed that I was ace and sex-repulsed and didn’t have the vocabulary to express it at the time. They thought I was spurning their advances deliberately!

(Of course, looking back, I bet that none of them actually wanted to be with an incredibly lesbian trans woman. (And yet, somehow, I married an ace trans woman of my own, shit’s nice.) I’m trying to work on not feeling bad that I disappointed those women, and that they found better matches of their own.)