I have only ever needed my birth certficate once. When I got married. I was living in a foreign (but still EU-) country at the time; I have no idea if I would have needed it to marry in my own country. It’s possible my mom might have needed it when I was little, to get me into elementary school or something, no idea about that. It’s definitely not needed for a driver’s license or a house. That’s ridiculous.
This is such a weird mentality to me. You don’t get compensated for waiting in line either. Would you really rather stand in line than do self-checkout? Even if it were faster? Doesn’t everyone always say “time is money?” Then you’d be robbing yourself if you don’t pick the fastest option.
Edit: I always pick the fastest option. The less time spent shopping, the better. But then, I’ve never really had bad experiences with self-checkout, so I’m sure I’m a bit biased.
That’s funny. I’ve only ever known 2 of them personally and they have all of it. The whole damn package. Yeah, that wasn’t fun.
Data show that, unlike normative, healthy self-esteem, which is associated with positive outcomes (5–7), narcissistic self-esteem is fragile, because it is highly contingent on achievement-related successes and feedback from the social environment (13–15). Narcissistic self-esteem is thus conceptualized as precariously elevated. When an individual with NPD is faced with an ego threat (e.g., real or imagined criticism, failure, or reduced social regard), unrealistically high self-expectations crumple into perceived inferiority (16, 17). Individuals with NPD are, therefore, hypersensitive to ego threats, and when threatened, they respond with efforts to reduce concomitant distress and upregulate self-esteem (17–19). These regulation strategies include some of NPD’s most recognizable and maladaptive behaviors. Classic “grandiose” responses include being aggressive or devaluing toward others (20, 21), fixating on grandiose fantasies (22), or engaging in self-serving bias (23). Classic “vulnerable” responses include alienating and isolating themselves (24) by avoiding situations that may threaten self-esteem (25), relentlessly criticizing themselves (26–28), or engaging in suicidal behaviors and fantasies (29, 30). This vacillation between overly inflated and deflated self-appraisals, alongside efforts to regulate this unstable sense of self through grandiosity, flawlessness, and/or avoidance, are described in both early psychoanalytic theories of narcissism (31), the contemporary Alternative DSM-5 Model for Personality Disorders (8), and the personality disorder section of the ICD-11 (32–34). It is important to note that research is continually adding nuance to scientific perspectives on self-esteem in NPD (35). Various frameworks differently emphasize shifts between distinct states of grandiosity (i.e., elevated self-esteem, arrogance, and entitlement) and vulnerability (i.e., shame, insecurity, and neuroticism). Scholars are working to clarify whether and how grandiosity may function to conceal ever-present vulnerability and whether fragile self-esteem is a driving force or an outcome of this process (17, 18, 26, 36).
So. I guess it’s not actually clear yet which one of us is right (whether it’s ever-present or not).
All I can say is that in my (limited) experience they have extreme reactions to any sort of criticism, they take almost everything personal, and this just doesn’t happen with people who are actually really self-confident. I know plenty of confident people and they can handle criticism just fine without throwing huge fucking temper tantrums. It came to a point where I was walking on eggshells trying to never say anything that could be interpreted as criticism, because their fragile ego couldn’t handle it and they’d turn it around on me. Like… trying to make themselves feel better by putting me down. Anyway, I’ll stop dragging my personal issues in here, and just say: perhaps some day we’ll have a definitive answer.
Edit: typo.
Not sure why you’re getting downvoted. You’re right.
Yes and that need stems from deep insecurity. Narcissists are insecure, but don’t show it. Their whole superiority act is just that, an act. Very convincing, because it’s what they -want- to be, and when people praise them it’s like a confirmation. They’re addicted to it. That’s why they lash out at anyone who sees through it. When you praise them, they’ll treat you like the best friend/lover they’ve ever had, but once you take away the praise… well they become a nightmare.
See it like this: nobody who is actually self-confident needs to get a constant stream of praise to be happy.
Hmm…
Mass Effect Trilogy. Kingdom Come Deliverance (can’t wait for KCD2!). Red Dead Redemption 2. Dishonored. Deus Ex. Baldur’s Gate 3. The Witcher 3. Disco Elysium. Dragon Age. Kotor. Bioshock. Cyberpunk2077 Divinity:OS+OS2
I can go on a bit, but anything with a good story gets me. I love being immersed. It helps me escape reality. Same goes for books. I love long series that I can throw myself into.
My thoughts exactly. Though maybe I could have handled it in a way that didn’t involve me calling her a racist in a crowd of people. But I’m glad at least I didn’t stay quiet about it.
I’ll start by saying my skin is really pale. Like, ginger “burn after 5 minutes in the sun”-white. Thus I don’t personally experience racism often (although of course I do notice it around me a lot, because fuck are there many racists), nor do I think it’s even comparable to how bad it is for other people. But this one time caught me so off guard, because this woman actually thought she was giving me a compliment and she had no idea how fucked up it sounded.
One of my parents is white, the other is mixed. That side of the family has roots in Suriname. When I told one of my colleagues about it, she told me “wow, then you really got lucky with your skin color!” Like wtf? And here I am, always jealous of my sibling, who can actually walk in the sun without burning up like a vampire.
I often wondered if I was making too big a deal out of it, because it pissed me off. I called her a racist and never talked to her again. Luckily I don’t work with her anymore.
Huh, you learn something every day. That’s very interesting, but it must be so weird and confusing to experience this.
I think I know what the user means. Trust me (yeah sure random internet person), you have no idea how often the most innocuous stuff gets used as an opening, a justification to keep bothering someone. Some guy asks for the time? Suddenly he also wants to know your name and do you want to have a drink? Some guy asks where x building is? Oh well, have you lived here long? I’m new here, maybe we could get together? Or it’s “does this tram go to x station?” and then, fuck, you’re stuck in a moving tram without an easy escape and the guy keeps asking why he can’t have your phone number, even though you already said no and then you lied about having a boyfriend, but still he won’t give up. Playing along with someone, being nice, trying to help them with innocuous stuff, 8 out of 10 times it doesn’t end there at all.
Before I get a bunch of downvotes: No, it’s not every guy. We know it’s not every guy. But most of us don’t want to sit through 6 creeps just on the off-chance of meeting a nice person. It’s just not worth it. And yes, it’s always guys who do this. I’ve never had a woman following me after giving her directions. I’ve never had a woman keep pushing me after I said no (and I’m sure they exist, crappy women exist, but usually I feel perfectly safe responding to women - so sue me, confirmation bias).
Edit: Just to respond to your specific situation. I think I might have given you the high five if you’d been at it for a little bit and I’d seen you do it to everyone else and not acting like a creep. The fact that it’s a bar scene and a social environment makes it all a little easier, imo. Most of my examples, real experiences btw, always happen in non-social scenes, like when going to work, or while doing groceries, etc. So in your case, I probably would have. But just to point out: it wasn’t about you personally, basically a bunch of creeps ruined it for you.
Maybe in a minority, but definitely not alone. I agree completely. Does absolutely nothing for me when someone touches my breasts, like at all. They may as well just been touching my back or my arm. Nothing erotic about it. But you know, it’s not like it’s particularly unpleasant either, so I guess, who cares? At least they like it. :p Well, as long as they’re not trying to actually pinch or bite my nipples because that’s very uncomfortable, and at certain points during my cycle it’s downright painful.
I mostly read series, and my favorite is Malazan Book of the Fallen by Steven Erikson. The Silo series by Hugh Howey a close second.
I’m not really someone who reads many standalone books, because I love getting lost in epic/long stories (for this same reason I barely ever watch movies and stick with series in stead), and I hate how by the time I’m really getting into a book, suddenly it’s over… But hmm, for a standalone book I’d have to go with The Book Thief by Zusak (which btw, never seen the movie, maybe I should sometimes).
Battlestar Galactica, Haven, Fringe, Orphan Black,
and there are a few more I don’t skip more often than I do, like DS9, Stargate: Atlantis, Rome and the Tudors.
Some series just have really nice intros!
The total death toll and the number of people suffering health issues (past and present) due to coal are orders of magnitude larger than those due to nuclear power (not to even mention the damage to the environment!). The problem is that people respond more to one-time big disasters than to numbers over time. Something like Chornobyl is terrifying and a big deal, so people remember it. They don’t remember every Tom, Dick and Harry that’s died over the years due to black lung or accidents or other stuff from coal.
You can even see this attitude in other ways too. It seems like a lot of Americans are still suffering mass trauma from 9/11 and accept the most horrific Patriot Act-type shit because of it. But in the end, it was less than 3000 people who died in the attack (and don’t get me wrong, it was terrible!), but waaaaaaay more people die (and have died) from lack of (access to) healthcare, and it seems that still barely anyone is actually trying to fix that. Or a mass shooting that kills 11 people, that’s a big deal, right? But the fact that over a million Americans died due to Covid didn’t really register as a disaster for a lot of people.
Nuclear power is such a no-brainer to me, but it sounds ‘scary’ and lots of people don’t understand it, which makes it even more scary. Plus, of course the fossil fuel industry propaganda and lobbying, and the memory of people who know other people who used to work in coal towns and had pretty decent lives. Or the “what about nuclear waste!”-crap that always comes up. Yes, nuclear waste is a thing, but let’s put it next to all the damaging crap that coal mines produce, accumulated. It’s way worse.
Anyway. It’s hard to fight all that, even when rationally, statistically, nuclear power should be a no-brainer. Edit: and there is no political will either, it seems. Whether it’s because they love their fossil fuel bribes or because they’re too scared to lose some voters… they’ll never do good things just to do good.
Edit: just to be clear, it’s definitely not a USA-exclusive problem. I currently live in Germany and their weird relationship to nuclear power is also batshit. All based on fear and bullshit.
Ditto! No tree, no lights, no presents, no big dinners or parties. Just a few days off, which my husband and I spent with our two cats.
When my husband and I started living together I actually told him that he had really bad aim and I don’t like having to sit in his piss. And that if he insisted on standing while peeing out of some weird sense of manliness, then I would choose not to clean up the mess he leaves behind all the time, so let’s see how fast it accumulates!
I especially don’t get it in your own home. There aren’t any other men around, so no need to act ‘manly’ and all it does is force you to clean it more often, which, come to think of it, probably also isn’t ‘manly’ so what? Do they just not clean their own toilets? Ew.
Anyway, dirty toilet seats are a choice. Any time you’re forced to use a toilet with piss all over it, it was someone’s choice to not care about the next person using the toilet. Many people have accepted it as normal, “it’s just what happens” - no, it is a choice. I still can’t believe my mother accepted it all those years, tbh. :p
My husband also said it has extra advantages to sit, like being able to pet our cats. So there you have it. Oh and we’ve lived in Germany for a couple of years now, and I was not at all surprised they have a special word for it. Germans have words for everything.
You can think the mother and daughter should face consequences AND at the same time think it’s beyond disgusting that facebook even has this info to begin with AND that they handed it over so easily.
The problem isn’t that “facebook followed the law” – it’s that they knowingly created a situation where they could follow the law to begin with. If they would stop collecting so much data and just encrypt their chats, there would already be less of an issue.
I think people have the tendency to think like “well I have nothing to hide, so who cares?” or “well in this case I agree with what happened, so it’s fine.” But laws get changed all the time, government changes all the time. And when a dictator at some point changes some laws, suddenly facebook is ‘following the law’ by giving law enforcement information on who is atheist, or gay, or what books you like, what your political opinions are, etc. They’d still be “following the law” – but just because something is law doesn’t make it right and imo it’s terrifying that companies who have so much money and power (and with it you would hope: responsibility) don’t seem to have any scrupules regarding working with government/LE.
I found out that the best way to make (certain) people stop asking it is to just be entirely honest for a change.
Don’t say “I’m fine, thanks. And you?” Launch into a depressing tirade about everything that sucks in your life and the world. Trust me, they’ll never ask again.
Heavenly peace.