I just had to report something to the police that will probably end a very close friendship of mine, but it was something that was totally not okay and I had to do it. But I still feel like a piece of shit for it. Have you ever felt like this and how did you get through it?
Feeling like shit for a shorter amount of time knowing I did the right thing, far outweighs the longer feeling of guilt for not speaking up. At least when you say something, it stops there, and you don’t go down the mindfuck of “what if”.
The ruminating over the “What ifs…” is absolutely fucking torture in any scenario. Self doubt is a bitch.
It sure is torture. Your mind can be it’s own worst enemy sometimes. It has taken me many years to learn how to love myself and just release my grip a little onto whatever is holding me back. By no ways am I able to just let it go, but with time I have at least started to realise that I can let things go more easily. I know I sound old when I say that too, but I guess that’s the whole journey we all go through. It all happens at the right time.
This describes it perfectly. Still feel bad for ending a relationship, but no “what if”-s ever come to my mind - you just did what was right, no matter how many introspections you have had later, and that’s the end of it.
You have a wonderful outlook, and hope that stays with you. I find your comment positive, and that positivity has charged me up… thank you
I felt like I caused a bad chain reaction in my IRL family. My sister was in a heated family court case against her ex-spouse and the custody battles for her son aka my nephew. I worked and voiced against her in the whole case which cast a black cloud of judgment over me by everyone else. She was just, doing every possible thing wrong in the whole case. Blaming her ex-spouse’s daughter in baseless claims, fruitlessly attacking her ex-spouse for unrelated incidents. She was just not painting a good picture of a mother who cared about her children, it was just “I was in what I felt was a bad marriage and I want to make my ex husband pay!” rhetoric.
In the end, she lost. She not only lost custody of her son, but got to serve 10 days in jail as an example set by the judge of the court room. Similar circumstances almost repeated themselves years later when she stupidly had sex with former ex-spouse to try and win custody and alimony for their daughter aka my niece. She lost that case too and I stood my own ground.
I felt bad all around for the entirety of both cases. It didn’t need to happen. It shouldn’t have happened. If only she wasn’t a dumbfuck with the outdated, feminist mindset of “MAN BAD!” which is ultimately what costed her both cases. So now, niece and nephew are just out there enduring the trials of being motherless and who knows what their futures will be when the day comes that they will reflect on this.
Wow that’s rough. Pretty much the type of situation I asked this question for. Hope everything’s going well.
That feeling is how I know I did the right thing. Backing out of a fight or an argument for me always feels wrong for me, too.
I think the big thing is sometimes giving it time. In hindsight the other person may agree that you did the right thing.
Ultimately if you can justify it to yourself based off morals that make sense, time will heal the wound.
All the best.
It’s always a tough thing to do, but if they’re doing something fucked, you made the right decision. For me I’ve never been through something like this, but things tend to be similar, you’re going to feel bad for awhile but it’ll get better with time.
every morning when I have to wake up, yeah.
